How I moved from exclusively babywearing for naps to naps in the cot.
Being a pregnant sleep consultant, I got a lot of comments like ‘Your baby will be such a good sleeper’! There are lots of little tips and tricks to getting through the newborn phase that I want to share with you, but in reality, baby sleep is a minefield and newborns will play by their own rules!
It was how we survived the newborn days...
When we brought Murphy home from the hospital at 10 days old, he should have had an average awake window of about 45 minutes. Still, with a complicated feeding regime, we usually managed to get him back to sleep after about 3 hours. The longer he was awake, the harder he was to get back to sleep, which is very normal for an overtired baby! At 3 weeks old, my midwife suggested babywearing as a way to improve Murphy’s breastfeeding, so from then until 16 weeks old, Murphy was attached to me in a wrap for all of his naps!
Babywearing and contact napping was our way through the newborn phase - as it is for many new parents. Around 4 weeks old, we started following Murphy’s awake windows and I could settle him back to sleep quickly in the wrap, and it was much easier to settle back to sleep after being awake for an hour rather than 3!
Witching hour was something I was absolutely dreading with baby #2, but sticking to age-appropriate awake windows (he didn’t have obvious tired signs) meant we avoided a lot of overtiredness, and he didn’t really have bad witching hours! Bedtime was late, around 10 pm for the first 8 weeks, but this is very normal and expected for newborns who haven't got a developed biological clock. I would walk around the living room rocking a swaddled Murphy to sleep (which always took a while since he wasn’t in his wrap), and then watch TV until he was in a deep sleep.
Around 8 weeks old, this bedtime was getting increasingly harder, so we made the switch to being in a dark room with white noise to rock Murphy to sleep. I (or his dad) held him, asleep, for 20 minutes to ensure he was in a deep sleep before transferring him feet-first into the bassinet and going back to the lounge. At the same time, we changed his bedtime earlier to 7 pm.
It was no longer working for us, so it was time for a change!
When Murphy was 15 weeks old, I decided it was time for him to start napping in his cot (he was still in the bassinet in our room overnight). First, I made sure his room was set up perfectly - I got some blackout material from Sleepy Sundays, moved the white noise into his room, and he was still swaddled so he felt like he was being hugged. For the first 3 days, I rocked him to sleep in his room and then transferred him to the cot, so he could adjust to his new sleeping environment. Then for the next 4 days, I patted him to sleep in the cot and patted him to resettle as well. Now, he was 16 weeks old and I was ready to get him falling asleep independently.
While Murphy was not rolling, or showing any signs of it, I unswaddled him - it’s easier to make the move to self-settling and unswaddling at the same time. At first, he was quite jerky in his sleep, but his startle reflex dampened within a few days! Using spaced soothing alongside making sure we were following Murphy’s appropriate awake windows, it took only 3 days for him to go to sleep in his cot by himself without needing any check-ins - but resettling was not going to plan at all! This is very, very common - often, babies don’t learn to link their sleep cycles until 6 months old.
My goal from the start was to just have Murphy be able to do one sleep cycle on his own, and we achieved that in a way that was gradual and I could support him through it. For the next few months, I either embraced his cat napping or would hold him to extend his lunch nap, and by the time he was almost 6 months old, Murphy started sleeping for longer!
It just goes to show, that sometimes they just need a bit more time and support to get there.
This is a big transition to make! Our advice is to take it one step at a time. Celebrate every win and keep consistent. You'll get there!
If you would like support with this transition, we would love to help guide you and your little one. We’re here to help!
You can book a FREE 10-minute chat here.
Sleep well!
April x
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